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It’s been a year since my last “new baby and pets” column. I have written about getting ready to add a baby to our family and how it will affect our pets, bringing baby home, and baby’s first year with our pets. I realize now that I can no longer write about my baby and the pets. I must now write about mytoddler and pets.

And wow – that is a whole different story to write! Episodes of “My Toddler and Pets” include “I want to use the dog as a step stool so I can climb out the window”; “Feeding the cats things they shouldn’t be eating”; “Playing veterinarian”; and my personal favorite, “I can hold the leash by myself, and if you don’t let me I’m going to lay down on the sidewalk and cry.”

However, our big adventure in child and pet ownership this year came during the winter. We always had been a multi-dog household, but when our sweet Labrador Buddy passed away last fall, we had been flying mostly solo. Last winter, we brought home a little mixed-breed dog for what was supposed to be a short stay. However, she developed a mouth tumor and our little guest turned into a hospice foster, who passed away in the spring. After so many losses, we needed a break. So, for several months, Bandit was an only dog. But as we began noticing his anxiety increase, we knew that we needed to find him a canine companion.

This is the point where I realized that we had become “that” family. The family that wants a dog, but it has to get along with other dogs, and be safe with cats, and be absolutely wonderful with children. Also, since we are a working family, the dog would need to be OK to be crated while we are at work, so it should probably be housebroken as well. And also a calm dog would be good, as Bandit is high-strung. I used to roll my eyes at these people, because that dog barely exists. But now I found myself looking for that dog.

I struggled with this for a while. I have always brought home the broken, the sick, the dying – the dogs that no one else would want. And I still wanted these dogs. I still would see them at the Cumberland County Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals shelter and so desperately want to bring them home and give them comfort. But I also know that at this stage in my life, I cannot meet their needs. I can’t give them the time and energy and even physical space that they require; right now, my daughter needs that from me.

After feeling guilty for so long, I finally came to the conclusion that this is OK. Sadly, we are not likely to run out of dogs needing help, and life years down the road will look different than life looks today. I realized, most importantly, that the time I spend with my daughter now and the lessons I hope to teach her will shape her to develop compassion and understanding. If I do my job as her mother correctly, one day the animals that she helps will more than make up for the ones that we cannot help now. Or maybe she will choose to help children, or senior citizens, or even insects for all I care; the most important thing is that she grows up with kindness in her heart and an understanding of the value of her actions.

And guess what? The perfect dog for us did come along. She sat for weeks in the shelter before I deemed her “unwanted” enough to take home, and it was clear from the get-go that she was meant to be with us. Rosie is a senior Boxer who isn’t perfect, but she’s perfect for us.

Source: Finding the right dog for a family with a toddler

Posted in 2016, SJRAS Articles